Fabletop Classes: Making Clerical Terrors

We decide who lives or dies. Be nice.

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Behold! Yonder lies our hated foe! With steel and magic shall we lay him low! BUT FIRST!

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We decide who lives or dies. Be nice.

…We need healing for our ouchies and our booboos.

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Comic Relationships: Happily After Ever

You CAN, in fact, tell a good story that has…HAPPY RELATIONSHIPS.

Once upon a time, there were two fictional characters who were born under an unlucky star. For the fates known as The Executive Studio and their very own Creator had decreed that their lives would be intertwined in the most horrific of fates: To be locked into a romantic subplot.

After many a travail, first struggling to come to terms with it, then finally confessing it, then surviving the Extragalactic War and the resulting Time Disjunction, then crossing the boundaries of mind, body, and spirit, then splitting up over The Hoagie Incident, they found their way back to each other and lived happily ever after.

…WHAT?! HAPPILY EVER AFTER?!

NO! THIS CANNOT BE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-

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Comic Relationships: They’re Off Again

“Sorry, I’m flattered, but I’m in a committed relationship. BEGONE, THOT.”

Love is in the air!

If you’re a writer, it means rich interpersonal drama for the heights or depths of emotion.

If you’re a fan, it means one thing: SHIPPING.

And if you’re a fictional character, well, love actually…sucks. If it’s not the love triangles, the deaths, or the fact that fictional characters are emotional wrecks, it’s the executive team deciding a breakup will boost viewership.

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Setbacks: In The Interests Of Conflict

“Things are going well. How are they going to slip up?”

So here you are surfing the internet, thinking you can get on with your day of watching cat videos and streaming Fortnite. WHEN SUDDENLY, A WILD POST APPEARS TO DISTRACT YOU!

…What? No! Get back here! It’s an interruption I am powerless to enforce! Go on, make the mistake of reading it!

…Well, I suppose my plans have hit quite the setback, then.

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Dialogue: Talking About Talking

Lessons On To Speaking More Gooder

“Forsooth! Hark! What madness be this?!”

“It appears that he’s blogging about dialogue.”

“Isn’t that, like, a total major bummer?”

“One would think so, but as we know but the audience might not, dialogue, although it seems to be merely putting one word in front of another in an intelligible manner, is a major force in a story that gives personality and identity to characters with a lot of balancing factors for too much or too little-”

“AGH! NO TALK! EXPOSITION HURT BRAIN!”

“A little late for that. A blog is LITERALLY made of exposition.”

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Ret’s Review: Bloodborne

On the whole, think of it as Monster Hunter’s bloodthirsty cousin and contrast the two.

The Blood Moon rises. The Hunt begins. The Nightmare never ends. And you, Hunter, are stuck in the middle of it all. With blade, with gun, with blood, slay the Beasts. Slay this Nightmare.

…Alright, now that I’ve gotten the obligatory “talk like a member of the fandom” intro out of the way, I’m here to talk about Bloodborne, which was free during PS Plus’s March rotation.

So here I am reviewing a game which has been out long enough for a fandom to pop up and mine every bit of lore out of it.

And which is no longer free as of the time of this post.

While being a complete and total newbie to From Software RPGs.

I’m sure this will go GREAT!

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Fabletop: Looking For Group Dynamics

“You know what? I abandon my holy order and defect to the enemy.”

Yep, it’s that time of the month where I talk about tabletop gaming! …Yes, it’s now a thing. I even announced it and everything!

Every game needs a player. And players need a goal. So the campaign is set, the story begins, and the actors in this production gather. Their myriad paths will cross and converge in an entire adventure, but there is a great obstacle in their way.

Their ability to cooperate.

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