Ret’s Review: Horizon Zero Dawn

Like the majority of Japanese anime openings, the title makes absolutely no sense.

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Yes! I actually review things! It wasn’t just a one time thing, I just happen to take my own sweet time getting around to things that are supposedly new! And yes, I enjoy videogames as well!

So, as one might surmise from the title, I’ll be giving my review of Horizon Zero Dawn, hopefully keeping it as spoiler-free as possible. Of course, I’m sure there’s no shortage of videogame journalism sites or random people on the internet proclaiming it’s a masterpiece, so what would I have to say about it?

That’s a really simple one: A review. I intend to tell what the game was, add my own impressions, and help you make an informed decision if you’re thinking of getting it.

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Descriptive Writing: Writing What You’re Doing

He’s Writing About Writing What He Is Doing, Is What He Is Doing

The sun rises, and a thousand, thousand writers wrack their brains. The vision in their heads yearns to break free and reach a whole world of readers, the result of a dream held deep within their hearts and obscene amounts of pop culture references.

Now all they need to do…is actually take that first step and write it out.

No, not just get started. No, not just get off their asses. They’ve got the map, they’ve got the destination. What their writing needs…is the description of that journey from Point Beginning to Point Ending.

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Fabletop: The Player Manual

What Is A Player? A Miserable Pile Of Motives!

The campaign begins. And inevitably, the journey will involve colourful, exotic creatures that may prove to be the greatest challenge of all. Creatures with extremely defined, some would say exaggerated, strengths and weaknesses, cultures and habits. Creatures that represent a threat to the best laid plans, capable of killing off a story before it even takes off with a single roll.

It may seem difficult, or even impossible, but learning to deal with them can often prove to be the most rewarding part of adventuring. And the more DMs learn about them, the better equipped they are.

I am, of course, speaking about players.

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Analysing: I Did It My Way

Why WOULD anyone go into such detail instead of just sitting back and enjoying the ride?

How it should have ended. The sins of cinema. Why X Is Better Than Y (And The Reason Is MINDBLOWING!). Why Z Is A Disappointment. The Implications Of Everything I Just Said. Why You Shouldn’t Enjoy This Popular Series.

Once, reviews and thoughts on entertainment were the domain of Siskel and Ebert, of columns that newspapers actually paid for, of having a certain mindset and skillset that meant someone’s opinion should be taken seriously. Once, the voice of the public was measured by applause, by surveys, by aggregate numbers.

Now, any yahoo with a computer, an internet connection, and an opinion can get on a soapbox and start belching out ideas online.

These are critical analysts. And in the age of the internet (the second home of the nerd), in the renaissance of popular sci-fi/fantasy media (the bread and butter of the nerd), in the nature of mankind (the software of the nerd), their numbers will only increase.

And I’m here to explain both what they do and why I don’t see myself as one of them.

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Feedback Shades Of Grey

Heck, if trees could talk, pruning might be as horrific as amputation.

No, YOU’RE derivative and formulaic!

Whether it’s art, relationships, or just plain drudgery, one thing is certain: feedback comes, whether it’s wanted or not. Somewhere, out there, someone is telling someone else how to do their job. It is a fact as inescapable as living, dying, and paying taxes.

Some do it because they sincerely want to help improve something. Others do it because they have no brain-mouth filter and just blurt out whatever’s on their mind. And of course, some just do it because they wish to exert dominance over something. But all the recipient can control is how they react to it.

As life goes on and people enter phases where they have to deal with more people, it’s only natural that they’ll have to learn about dealing with it and growing from it. But aside from the usual platitudes, there’s actually more to feedback than one would expect.

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Fabletop: By Special Re-Quest

The call goes out. The adventurers answer. And so begins an epic tale of…killing 10 slimes and collecting 50GP.

The call goes out. The adventurers answer. And so begins an epic tale of…killing 10 slimes and collecting 50GP.

Whether it’s saving the princess or getting the plot device, one thing is certain: Every character’s on a quest of some kind.

In any story, there needs to be a conflict. For that, there needs to be a problem that needs solving. And naturally, the problem must be special enough that one does not simply use a mundane solution any rational person can easily think of.

But in the midst of the most gripping sagas and interactive games, it can be easy to overlook that the proud tradition of a storied tale has its origins in the mists of time…and can seep into even the most mundane contexts.

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The Silence Of The Self-Inserts

We might wax philosophical and try and paint it as a purely artistic decision, but this is the cold, hard reality of game design, folks: You need CASH MONEY.

And there you have inspirational quotes from some of the most iconic videogame characters! Can YOU guess who said each one?

So yes, today I’ll be talking about SILENT PROTAGONISTS! No, I don’t mean characters who are unusually quiet. I mean it’s you, the player character, but there is just about no dialogue coming from them.

Now, this might seem a tad antiquated. What’s the deal with them? Do people still DO them? Do we only know this because our childhood icons were mute?

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