Minions: Every Bum, He Was Kung Fu Fighting

Because there may be an I in Evil, but there is no Me in Team.

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Cool headquarters, check. Diabolical plan, check. Doomsday weapon, check. Elaborate death traps, check.

Now all I need are a legion of disposable goons to do my bidding for me! It’s not going to do itself, after all!

…You don’t expect me to do my OWN bidding, do you? Now go see what that weird noise in the vents was, henchman. I have to explain the reason for your meaningless existence to the internet.

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Story Patriotism: The Patriot Act…ors

So Major USA is defined by his love of freedom and refusal to use the metric system, while Captain Canada is unfailingly polite and considerate.

NAAAAAME-OF-COUNTRY!

EXPLETIIIIIIIIIVE!

TOTALLY UNJUSTIFIED PRIDE IN MY HOMELAND!

But what happens when you make a CHARACTER like that? What’s the deal with the guys who actually chant “U! S! A! U! S! A! U! S! A!”?

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Final Week Fables: Curseday Blues

If an adventurer comes around and actually fixes this, I wonder if they’ll expect my hand in marriage.

It’s that time of the month! When I actually sit down and bring myself to write a short story based on a picture I’ve got lying about!

And speaking of lying about, today’s image is:

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Not this shit again.

…And I’m making a COMEDY out of it? What??? Bet you’re REAL curious, huh??? …Oh, you’re not? Well, read it anyway, I’m begging you!

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Setting Norms: Mundane Fantasy

The norm always applies no matter how preposterous the setting, like “what if people’s farts were visible.”

Miracles. Fantastic happenings. World building. All part and parcel of creating a story’s world.

But why is it that in one setting, the ability to produce a spark of flame is a magical miracle, while in another, you have people routinely teleporting to different planets for a small fee?

Aside from the fact that the author wrote it that way, of course.

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Green Lantern: The Galaxy’s Nightlight

Green Lantern simultaneously represents the character who is “one of the most powerful” as well as “a mere mortal”.

In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil’s might, beware my power, Green Lantern’s light!

If you don’t know that oath, then what are you doing reading DC comics?

Well, all the same, whether you don’t know and wanna learn more, or you DO know and just wanna read redundant info you already know, go ahead and read this article!

Buckle up, folks. It’s time for justice. SPACE justice.

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And JUSTICE BUTT.

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Final Week Fables: Dapperwolf vs. Philosoraptor

Not for the first nor the last time, he had to fight the feeling that he was prancing on rooftops in the nude and climbing like a chimpanzee in the Borneo jungle.

Well, it’s that time of the month again, folks! Where I, a writer writing about writing stuff, attempt to do stuff that is actually writing! And what image shall be the inspiration for this month’s tale?

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Remember: Art is meant to elevate mankind.

So clearly, this is going to be a very tasteful and refined short story. One which asks the most fundamental question at the very core of our psyche:

Who would win in a fight: A werewolf or a velociraptor?

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Fabletop Classes: Ba Ba Ba Barbari-Ann

Incidentally, expect them to ignore shields in favour of two-handed, dual, or dual two-handed weapons.

It’s that time of the month, when I return to fables of the tabletop! And just who could be the cast member we’ll be focusing on this week? I’ll give you a hint:

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A staple of Dungeons & Dragons.

That’s right, folks, you guessed it! It’s…! …NO, it’s not the BARD! Are you CRAZY?! What in that picture would make you think BARD?

Such a mistaken answer makes me ANGRY. One might say I am even filled with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!

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