Fabletop: Electing To Campaign

And if they keep getting rejected by NPCs, it’s essentially a case of “You need experience to work, but you can’t work because you have no experience.”

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It’s roleplaying game week on this blog, and so I am here with a simple guide on a topic helpful to most game masters: Planning adventures for roleplaying games. Or, in tabletop gamer terms, a campaign!

Kind of like the campaigns from Warcraft and StarCraft, only interactive and with crazy characters who never do what you want and hurtle headlong into disaster as you silently urge them to make the sensible choice.

No wait, EXACTLY like the campaigns from Warcraft and StarCraft.

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Difficulty Levels: Git Gud, Heroes

You can’t just gradually farm enemies that get slightly stronger until you’re just one level behind a boss.

In life, we know conflict. Strife. Difficulty levels.

There’s easy. Normal. Hard. Extreme. And Cuphead/Dark Souls. The measures which tell us just how hard a time the protagonists will have.

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While you, the writer, make this face.

And as it is the sacred duty of writers to give our characters a hard time, it pays to understand just how BADLY our torture devices/writing tools will hurt them.

Oh, and uh, how that reads for the audience. Of course.

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Minions: Every Bum, He Was Kung Fu Fighting

Because there may be an I in Evil, but there is no Me in Team.

Cool headquarters, check. Diabolical plan, check. Doomsday weapon, check. Elaborate death traps, check.

Now all I need are a legion of disposable goons to do my bidding for me! It’s not going to do itself, after all!

…You don’t expect me to do my OWN bidding, do you? Now go see what that weird noise in the vents was, henchman. I have to explain the reason for your meaningless existence to the internet.

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Story Patriotism: The Patriot Act…ors

So Major USA is defined by his love of freedom and refusal to use the metric system, while Captain Canada is unfailingly polite and considerate.

NAAAAAME-OF-COUNTRY!

EXPLETIIIIIIIIIVE!

TOTALLY UNJUSTIFIED PRIDE IN MY HOMELAND!

But what happens when you make a CHARACTER like that? What’s the deal with the guys who actually chant “U! S! A! U! S! A! U! S! A!”?

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Setting Norms: Mundane Fantasy

The norm always applies no matter how preposterous the setting, like “what if people’s farts were visible.”

Miracles. Fantastic happenings. World building. All part and parcel of creating a story’s world.

But why is it that in one setting, the ability to produce a spark of flame is a magical miracle, while in another, you have people routinely teleporting to different planets for a small fee?

Aside from the fact that the author wrote it that way, of course.

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Fabletop Classes: Making Clerical Terrors

We decide who lives or dies. Be nice.

Behold! Yonder lies our hated foe! With steel and magic shall we lay him low! BUT FIRST!

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We decide who lives or dies. Be nice.

…We need healing for our ouchies and our booboos.

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Comic Relationships: Happily After Ever

You CAN, in fact, tell a good story that has…HAPPY RELATIONSHIPS.

Once upon a time, there were two fictional characters who were born under an unlucky star. For the fates known as The Executive Studio and their very own Creator had decreed that their lives would be intertwined in the most horrific of fates: To be locked into a romantic subplot.

After many a travail, first struggling to come to terms with it, then finally confessing it, then surviving the Extragalactic War and the resulting Time Disjunction, then crossing the boundaries of mind, body, and spirit, then splitting up over The Hoagie Incident, they found their way back to each other and lived happily ever after.

…WHAT?! HAPPILY EVER AFTER?!

NO! THIS CANNOT BE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-

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