Minions: Every Bum, He Was Kung Fu Fighting

Because there may be an I in Evil, but there is no Me in Team.

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Cool headquarters, check. Diabolical plan, check. Doomsday weapon, check. Elaborate death traps, check.

Now all I need are a legion of disposable goons to do my bidding for me! It’s not going to do itself, after all!

…You don’t expect me to do my OWN bidding, do you? Now go see what that weird noise in the vents was, henchman. I have to explain the reason for your meaningless existence to the internet.

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Complex Villains: Apathy For The Devil

Unlike two-dimensional villains who can become UNINTENTIONALLY beloved, these guys are a DELIBERATE bet.

I’ve talked about empires and gods as villains. And I’ve talked about villains that you love to hate or love despite the fact that you should hate them.

But what about when loving them is EXACTLY what the writer is asking you to do?

What happens when they are given something that is OBVIOUSLY, UNAMBIGUOUSLY, meant to be ADMIRED? A story that is meant to be PITIED? Where sometimes you DON’T want them to pay?

That’s where sympathetic villains come in.

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Final Week Fables – The Clone Wars: Lone Wolffe and Cub

I remember a bright-eyed Padawan with a big mouth and a bigger heart.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars!

Revived for a finale season!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ahem. So I’m a fan of the series and of Star Wars in general, and of background Jedi ESPECIALLY. So naturally, I decided to take this time to pay tribute the best way I know how: By focusing on minor supporting characters and writing overly in-depth head-canon about them!

Huh. You’d think I’d be putting these on YouTube or something, I mean, that IS what it’s for, right?

Without further ado, I present a Star Wars fanfiction that is related to an iconic Japanese samurai film in name only! And, as opposed to writing a story for a picture, this time it’s finding a picture for a story!

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“No sign of our screentime this season, General.”

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Fabletop Classes: Making Clerical Terrors

We decide who lives or dies. Be nice.

Behold! Yonder lies our hated foe! With steel and magic shall we lay him low! BUT FIRST!

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We decide who lives or dies. Be nice.

…We need healing for our ouchies and our booboos.

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Comic Relationships: Happily After Ever

You CAN, in fact, tell a good story that has…HAPPY RELATIONSHIPS.

Once upon a time, there were two fictional characters who were born under an unlucky star. For the fates known as The Executive Studio and their very own Creator had decreed that their lives would be intertwined in the most horrific of fates: To be locked into a romantic subplot.

After many a travail, first struggling to come to terms with it, then finally confessing it, then surviving the Extragalactic War and the resulting Time Disjunction, then crossing the boundaries of mind, body, and spirit, then splitting up over The Hoagie Incident, they found their way back to each other and lived happily ever after.

…WHAT?! HAPPILY EVER AFTER?!

NO! THIS CANNOT BE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-

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Comic Relationships: They’re Off Again

“Sorry, I’m flattered, but I’m in a committed relationship. BEGONE, THOT.”

Love is in the air!

If you’re a writer, it means rich interpersonal drama for the heights or depths of emotion.

If you’re a fan, it means one thing: SHIPPING.

And if you’re a fictional character, well, love actually…sucks. If it’s not the love triangles, the deaths, or the fact that fictional characters are emotional wrecks, it’s the executive team deciding a breakup will boost viewership.

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Final Week Fables: Magic Is Friendship

“Friends shouldn’t sell each other out,” it said with pity and reproach, “figuratively OR literally.”

And welcome, readers, to the end of the month and the Final Week Fable! The time when I force myself to keep my writer’s muscles in practice by banging out a short story based on an image in my collection.

What tale awaits us this time? What adventures lie in store? Well, for starters, our hint for this month is:

Chest Spirit
What’s small and magical and red all over?

Yes, another fantasy story. What a surprise. Deal with it! And be prepared to learn why Magic Is Friendship!

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