The Flash: GottaGoFastGottaGoFast

But WHO Is Speed? Ka-CHOW!

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The Flash! He can really move! The Flash! He’s got an attitude! The Flash! He’s the fastest thing alive! He’s the fastest thing alive! He’s the fastest thing aliiiiiiive!

That’s pretty much it.

…What, you want a better explanation? Oh, fine.

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Topics: Talking About Talking About Stuff

The training wheels are off, the safety net is gone, we are no longer filling in the blanks of a Mad Lib post.

Oh geez. It’s been a busy week. Uh. What do I say this week? I didn’t have time to fixate on a topic. I gotta make something up, pull it out of my…

…THAT’S IT!

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Mentors: Meet De Mentors

Why not take the easy way out and make them your usual can of exposition and training?

Very few characters actually make it on their own. Even as loners, they had to learn from somewhere. They had to have a teacher, someone to actually teach them to acquire the skills and traits the author arbitrarily assigned to them.

Someone like a magical talking animal. Or a grizzled washed out wizard. Or the city streets themselves.

Or some weirdo on the internet giving introductions and tips to writing.

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Hulk: The Jolly Green Giant Who Gains

Or, he’ll do that anime thing where he powers up spontaneously with his emotions.

He’s green. He’s mean. He’ll rupture your spleen. He’s powered by gamma rays, he’s got pecs for days. When he walks the earth will tremble, roadkill his enemies will resemble, everyone clench your buttcheeks and prepare for:

hulh_img_home.png
Wrong Hulk, or RIGHT Hulk?

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Fabletop Classes: Meet The Druid

Quite a few plant-based spells can be cast out of thin air, and vines start popping up out of nowhere like it’s tentacle hentai.

Today I am branching out from another branch of my writing in something big enough for a category: Character classes! And today,  we’re looking at a certain group of nature-loving animal enthusiasts who are all about organic, sustainable living.

No, not hippies. Certainly not PETA. DRUIDS. Wait. I just made a branch pun. EXCELLENT.

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Descriptive Writing: Writing What You’re Doing

He’s Writing About Writing What He Is Doing, Is What He Is Doing

The sun rises, and a thousand, thousand writers wrack their brains. The vision in their heads yearns to break free and reach a whole world of readers, the result of a dream held deep within their hearts and obscene amounts of pop culture references.

Now all they need to do…is actually take that first step and write it out.

No, not just get started. No, not just get off their asses. They’ve got the map, they’ve got the destination. What their writing needs…is the description of that journey from Point Beginning to Point Ending.

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Analysing: I Did It My Way

Why WOULD anyone go into such detail instead of just sitting back and enjoying the ride?

How it should have ended. The sins of cinema. Why X Is Better Than Y (And The Reason Is MINDBLOWING!). Why Z Is A Disappointment. The Implications Of Everything I Just Said. Why You Shouldn’t Enjoy This Popular Series.

Once, reviews and thoughts on entertainment were the domain of Siskel and Ebert, of columns that newspapers actually paid for, of having a certain mindset and skillset that meant someone’s opinion should be taken seriously. Once, the voice of the public was measured by applause, by surveys, by aggregate numbers.

Now, any yahoo with a computer, an internet connection, and an opinion can get on a soapbox and start belching out ideas online.

These are critical analysts. And in the age of the internet (the second home of the nerd), in the renaissance of popular sci-fi/fantasy media (the bread and butter of the nerd), in the nature of mankind (the software of the nerd), their numbers will only increase.

And I’m here to explain both what they do and why I don’t see myself as one of them.

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