Man of Wait-He’s-Stronger-Than-Steel

The thing that makes him Super is the Man. Yes, I totally went there.

Disclaimer: Superman and all related characters are the property of their respective owners. This blog is purely for entertainment, and I do not intend to monetise my thoughts.

Following up on my last Batpost, I opted to do a crash course on the other top property of DC, Superman! And once again, I have no idea where you’ve been if you haven’t heard of him.

silveragesupermanonedoesnotsimplymakesenseout_90bb6a_4593634

Pictured above: The moral compass of the Justice League.

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BATMAN! I’M! STILL! BURNING!

And then he makes a sacred salt circle to stop the ancient mystical Thanagarian demon.

Disclaimer: Batman, Lego, and the Lego Movie are all the properties of their respective creators.

He is vengeance. He is the night. He is Batman!

Now that that’s out of the way, time for a quick crash course on Batman with a bit extra on some of his fandom.

Now, for those of you not in the know somehow, Batman is one of DC’s biggest characters and arguably the most famous non-powered superhero. Motivated by the tragic death of his parents, young Bruce Wayne dedicated his life and his multi-billion dollar fortune to fighting crime. Because apparently, therapy was out of the question.

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I Didn’t Vote For You

Now with cutting-edge IMAGE-O-GRAPHIC technology!

Disclaimer: All images and visuals used are the property of their respective owners. In this case, Lucasfilms!

Monty Python references! Now with cutting-edge IMAGE-O-GRAPHIC technology!

Today, I’m going to be talking about a staple: Unhelpful NPCs.

You know the type: The villagers are low on supplies and high on rampaging bandits. The mayors and police chiefs are outgunned, outmanned, outsmarted and outbought by the crime bosses. The Masters of the Hidden Order keep their deepest secrets out of your hands because of their sacred oaths. The Faction Bosses are too busy fighting each other to focus on the Really Bad Thing up ahead.

best_council_meeting_ever

Pictured above: Accurate representation of your average NPCs.

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Imperial is a great measuring system, though.

Because the fun thing about antagonists is how you colour them.

You all know who they are. A large organisation devoted to crushing everything the main characters hold dear. They’re the ones who spend every resource, use any means, have way more hidden knowledge, and somehow maintain a force of elite monsters as reinforcements for the final battle. Thousands of heroes were set upon their path because of the Evil Empire. Palpatine’s Empire, the hordes of Sauron, or that big shot cola company dumping toxic waste into the river, these guys are baaaaaaad.

So what makes for an Evil Empire? Because honestly, their form depends entirely on the setting. You’ve got conventional Vast Factions Of Doom, but they can just as easily be clandestine groups working from the shadows or mighty big businesses.

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Dial D For Deicide

“Shut up, God, you’re not my real dad!”

Disclaimer: Before you read too deeply into anything I say, lemme just come clean: I consider myself a devout Christian, not in terms of righteousness, but because I truly believe in and try to live my faith. While I will always do my best to keep this post focused on explaining the concept, I won’t deny that I’ve got my own experiences and beliefs colouring my views! What am I, a robot?

As you can guess from the title, this post is about gods! Well. Killing gods, anyway.

I’m sure you’ve encountered the idea in some shape or form. Whatever the genre, whatever the media, there’s probably been at least one arc where the characters went up against a divine or godlike being. Cosmics gods, eldritch abominations, lost technology from extinct civilisations, these are usually the final frontier of boss battles. Or if it’s not a god, it’s at least a figure of such power and authority that it might as well be the god of the setting. Like Dracula in Castlevania. Or Hogger in World of Warcraft. Or that jock jerk Chad Anderson who everyone seems to worship even though he’s peaked in high school and is a borderline sociopath who Principal Mazer won’t expel just because the school team is finally winning for a change.

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The Sooner-Than-Expected Christmas Special About Christmas Specials

Also, Superman still believes in Santa Claus.

So, our first proper post after the intro, and it’s a Christmas Special! Guess this would have more meaning if I’d done this for longer, huh? Eh. Anyway.

Christmas Specials! From the trite to the true, these are a fixture in our minds. Christmas movies, movies set during Christmas, movies which become Christmas traditions, special episodes about Christmas, you get the idea.

So, Christmas Specials (or the in-universe equivalent) are obviously specials that involve Christmas in some way. You might think that would make them pretty identical, but there’s a surprising amount of variety in the situations characters get into.

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Rise Of The Blog Begins: Origins: The Reboot: Awakens

There was one problem: He kept putting it off. Like trying to chisel out a marble statue with a toothpick.

So this is the story of two brothers. Or more to the point, it is the story of one brother, with the other one appearing as a supporting character and plot device to propel the storyline forward.

The two brothers were first rivals, and were too stubborn and too dim respectively to realise that they could, in fact, enjoy each others’ companionship. It took years, but then they realised that hey, you CAN have things in common with your sibling! Chief among those was the appreciation and ridiculing of things you see in fiction. Now, the younger brother adored these the most in the family and desired to publish something. There was one problem: He kept putting it off. Like trying to chisel out a marble statue with a toothpick.

One day, the elder brother, having had enough of the younger brother wasting his potential, decided to harangue him until he gave in and created a blog of some kind to share his mind with the world. But though it is tempting to paint him as some sort of annoying plot contrivance, it is important to note that he did so with the best of intentions and in a constructive manner. It is also important to note that the little brother was not only the narrator of this tale, but one of the worst slackers in existence. On a totally unrelated note, he thought that unreliable narrators who mess with protagonists are incredibly awesome and beyond reproach, and there should be more of them in writing.

Ultimately, the younger brother agreed, and after much procrastination, set up a blog and navigated some of its design. He then proceeded to leave the rest of the webpage’s design to ‘later’ and devised a passably informative first post. That’s it, that’s all he did by himself, that is an entirely factual and accurate statement. His post would only be elevated by the addition of an unreliable narrator, for not only did it spice things up at his expense, it simultaneously communicated and demonstrated what this blog was all about. The unreliable narrator was rightly credited for this addition and said he might consider putting in guest appearances in the future.

And so began a new journey: to put his thoughts to the proverbial page on a weekly basis. That actually brings us up to speed, so the narrator is running ahead of schedule, so now’s the time to have the whole ‘journey has just begun, what awaits’ sales pitch.

He might travel alone. He might have others join him. He might be crippled by indecision, writer’s block, and overthinking a myriad viewpoints. He would most certainly shamelessly promote this website on the social medias. But at the end of the day, he would have written what he wanted, as he wanted.