Batman: A Study In Being Batly Written

But the simple truth is that in the real world, we want very little to do with people who are horribly flawed with no intention to fix themselves.

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So I found Logan a brilliant-but-joyless-watch-once movie. I thought Bloodborne had no emotional resonance or coherent storytelling (or rather, had a hidden coherent story which it did not tell in a way that made you care). And I thought that Batman: White Knight was a hamfisted political agenda which required the universe to be warped in its “hero’s” favour. All of the above are widely held as masterpieces of fictional works.

What is the next opinion heresy I will commit as a nerd?

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Captain America: Hail Hydra.

Simple: Flat out state that, handled poorly, Batman is a boring and unlikable character.

Now that my CLICKBAIT has your attention, proceed if you wish to hear one nerd’s opinion which is entirely personal and in no way represents objective fact!

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Fabletop: The Loot Of All Evil

That being said, you probably shouldn’t troll your players by making “friendship” the final reward.

What moves adventurers?

A rich backstory?

A thirst to prove themselves, to explore?

A righteous cause?

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It’s loot.

Or…something shiny that will either buy them many nice things or help them kill stuff better.

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Bosses: Commissioning Commanding Editors-in-Chief

Like any good complication in a story, they take things from “This can be easily done” to “We have a problem”.

So what do the Mayor of Townsville, J. Jonah Jameson, and King Arthur have in common?

…No, the answer is NOT facial hair!

It’s that they legally command the services of some of the most terrifying weapons of mass destruction in their world!

Besides, ever since that anime made King Arthur a girl in their lore, facial hair is not a sure thing. Unless you’re talking dwarf women (sometimes).

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Conflict Of Ideas: Black Panther vs. White Knight

Mind-control. The only thing you need to win a war of words.

In this corner, the ideas of the characters we’re supposed to root for! It’s what they stand for! It’s clearly the solution to the current problem!

In the other corner, the ideas opposed to them! Reasons and justifications for OTHER things!

What’s the handicap? Is it an even match? And IS THE REF LINING THEIR GLOVES WITH WEIGHTS? Or SLOW COUNTING WHEN THEY’RE KNOCKED DOWN?

When two ideas clash in a story, is it a REAL MATCH? Or a bout of PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING?

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Minions: Every Bum, He Was Kung Fu Fighting

Because there may be an I in Evil, but there is no Me in Team.

Cool headquarters, check. Diabolical plan, check. Doomsday weapon, check. Elaborate death traps, check.

Now all I need are a legion of disposable goons to do my bidding for me! It’s not going to do itself, after all!

…You don’t expect me to do my OWN bidding, do you? Now go see what that weird noise in the vents was, henchman. I have to explain the reason for your meaningless existence to the internet.

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Comic Relationships: They’re Off Again

“Sorry, I’m flattered, but I’m in a committed relationship. BEGONE, THOT.”

Love is in the air!

If you’re a writer, it means rich interpersonal drama for the heights or depths of emotion.

If you’re a fan, it means one thing: SHIPPING.

And if you’re a fictional character, well, love actually…sucks. If it’s not the love triangles, the deaths, or the fact that fictional characters are emotional wrecks, it’s the executive team deciding a breakup will boost viewership.

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Fabletop: The GM Metagame

Are they spellslingers? Hack-and-slashers? Do they have a giant robot at their command?

The adventurers go in to meet with the enemy. Based on intel, it’s apparently a lich at the head of a small army of hobgoblins. He’s a sorcerer, but he apparently has a high level cleric under him as well. And as initiative is rolled, the question is:

What do you, the GM, make the lich do?

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